The World Is Out To Get Me

Except this isn't really Wangst, it is Injustice.

I am left handed.

In my french class, there are three lefties. And somewhere from two to three left-handed desks. The third one disappears regularly, probably just to spite us. The desks are also very small, which makes it pretty darn well impossible to open/write in a binder if I'm stuck with a right-handed desk. Of course, binders are another issue--

Binders are made with right-handed people in mind. Because, as I said, the world is out to get me and all the other left-handed people in the world. It's really, really unpleasant to write on the front of a piece of lined paper for any length of time, i.e. more than a paragraph.

Also it's annoying when I'm trying to write something by hand and keep it neat and clean and I end up smudging half the words into the Territory of Illegible.

Not to mention the thousands of tools designed with your average right-handed person in mind. Can openers: confusing.
Scissors: annoying.
Other stuff: unjust.

That basically everything I can think of at the moment. Just for the record, I am also a redhead. Even more special. Wahaha! (somewhat creepy laugh) Also I'm just awesome.





Not really. But can't we dream?

Hurricane:

Conditions: Rain, wind, rain, wind, my bedroom wall is leaking (under the eaves), and the basement window well is flooding. Also more rain and wind. And two power-outages thus far: Around 5:40, it went out for about 15 seconds, and then the stupid computer took 10 minutes to reboot (which it shouldn't). The second time it was only out like three seconds, and the stupid computer was slightly less stupid and turned on properly.
Death count: Three. This I believe I heard on the news.

That's all.

I had Coldstone today and some Snickers bar got stuck in one of my molars and thus tore some of my cheek.
This = annoying + painful
Not fun.

And now it's really the end.

Hurricane, or Wie ist das Wetter?

What's up with all the natural "disasters," anyway? Seriously, I'm having a bad enough week as it is. Whatever. Not that you care about my stupid life, you already have to put up with the stuff I write as it is.

So, hurricane. Whoop whoop. My take on it? Lots of bad weather followed by a pause and then more bad weather.

Now children, this is what a hurricane looks like. Actually, I have no idea what the hay I'm saying. But, meh. My basic understanding of hurrcanes is that there's the storm, and there's an eye in the middle, and if in the middle of your awful weather you experience sunshine, STAY INSIDE: IT'S LYING TO YOU BECAUSE IT WANTS TO EAT YOU. DON'T LET IT FOOL YOU.

Now that I've shared this wisdom with you--

Moving on.

What will I be doing during this weeks second Nature Hates Us episode? Hiding, of course. Like the coward I am! Hiding with anything I wouldn't be able to live without in the event of Major Damage. Like the house falling down on my head. Youch. That sounds worse than a concussion (which, honestly, sounds kind of gross: your head squishing around in your skull. Ewww). Also food, in the event of the whole house-falling-down scenario. And all the emergency stuff like first aid and water and whatever the Red Cross says. I think I have the list somewhere.

I just read over some of this and realized that it's really pointless. I guess I'll continue then.

Actually every time I think of the hurricane I don't panic or think about any of the stuff I just rambled about, I get part of "When You Were Young" by the Killers stuck in my head. The bit about the hurricane. Which is totally not the point of the song...but whatever.

And now to finish the post, more songs related to Hurricanes. Mostly the title, or by association.

Hurricane, by 30 Seconds to Mars

Hurricane, by Panic! At the Disco

Let's Kill Tonight, by Panic! At the Disco (because it's either right before or right after Hurricane)

When You Were Young, by the Killers

Well, you may or may not have just wasted a perfectly good amount of time reading my blog.

Bis Später

EARTHQUAKE

That
was an earthquake. I'm sort of freaked out now. Sadly my first thought was "What the hey are you, cat?" Um, not cat, earthquake.

This is me right now: ohgodohgod we're all gonna die. Also there might be a hurricane? I dunno.

2012

Someone was talking about this earlier...don't remember. Meh.

Point is, JUST BECAUSE THE MAYAN CALENDER IS ENDING DOESN'T MEAN THE WORLD IS.


There is no logical reason why the world would end then. Also, are we talking about the world as in the universe, Earth, or the US? Never mind. When the sun explodes, tell me the world is ending. I'll be dead by then.




Hopefully.

Title

Here's a conversation (online, not in person) with an acquaintance of mine. Not word for word, but you'll get the idea. I'll call this person...Alfred.

Me: Hi.
Alfred: hiiii
Me: Okay....
Alfred: lol
Me: The Foo Fighters are going to perform here after all.
Alfred: lol
Me: That's not really funny.
Alfred: lol
Me: The suicide rate has increased recently.
Alfred: lol
Me: I'm a homicidal maniac and you're my next victim.
Alfred: lol ur so weird

Get my point? It's not quite that bad, but almost.

Next random topic.

Just because Brendon Urie is wearing eyeliner in the video for "I Write Sins Not Tragedies," does not mean Panic!'s first album is "emo." Speaking of the music video, where's the rest of the band?

Next.

One last taunt at Twilight and then I'll shut up about it. Summary of Twilight:
Bella complains about the rain. Then about her clumsiness. Then she says that Edward is beautiful. Then that she's not worthy, and clumsy, too.
I flipped to three random pages in the book, and two of those three pages had Bella mentioning "Edward's perfect face." Not in those words. But whatever.

Next.

I did not go to see Blink-182 and My Chemical Romance on the Honda Civic Tour. Which I'm not happy about. Apparently it was awesome. >_<

Next.

Have you ever noticed that in school you're constantly being forced to take American History classes? I mean, yeah, okay, we live here, but honestly I don't need to hear any more about "the home of the free and the land of the brave." Or whatever it is.

Analysis of my fear of heights:
If I'm in a harness climbing a ladder and it's all well-secured and (most likely) perfectly safe, I'm freaked out. Or if I'm up, 80 some feet in a tree on a platform that's safe, in a harness, with all the afore-mentioned safety stuff, this is my brain, "ohgodohgod we're all gonna die."
If I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, about a foot away from the edge over looking a distance of much more than 80 feet, then it's awesome. And I'm telling whoever is worrying about falling off the cliff to shut up. So smart, I know.
Basically: I don't trust humans. Because I'm actually a robot plotting to take over the world. Not really.

/stupid post.

Yeah, so...

...I'm being internet-stalked. Sort of. Just go take a look at one of the blogs mentioned in the "Blogs you might like" sidebar on [blog]. It starts with "s," just to give you a horrible clue. Okay, now that I look back at it I realize it's not such a bad clue. Meh. I'd rather send you on a wild goose chase. Which it isn't. So....
 'Kay. Here's what you do--you just keep clicking at the hotspots on the image below until you get to said blog.
Have fun!

Yeah, take a look at some of those posts and you'll see that some of them probably are things I have said, verbatim. And also, there may or may not be a picture of a large flightless bird, and something looking like this: \_/ I made that up. So, chyeah. Believe me, or don't. Enjoy your wild goose chase.

80 Days

Jah. 80 days until November. I don't know if I can last 'till then. I WAS doing Camp NaNoWriMo, but then I got lazy. And I wanted to use that plot idea for November. Hopefully this time I'll actually get somewhere with my plot, and get past 12,000 words. Unfortunately, November is right before December. December is Nutcracker time. Which means that November is an insane mess of rehearsals and fittings. Which equates no novel time. And my laptop is No More. Maybe I should get a typewriter. I might write a proper post later, then again I may not. I have an argument scheduled for tonight. Yep. I schedule them in advance.

Neighbors

Hate them. Hatehatehatehatehate them. I can hear their stupid party from inside my house with all the windows closed. And the whole yard between us. It's not a tiny yard.

But GRRRR. Hatehatehate them. Dear neighbors, please shut up, I hate you and your stupid dog.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing: they leave their dog out all night, "because he needs to do his business."
a) Not for 12 hours.
b) Uh, we could call animal control. And then they would euthanize him. Possibly. Which, frankly, would be better for us and the dog, because it's theoretically grounds for animal abuse. *smirks*


I HATE YOU SO MUCH.


Seriously, at 4 in the morning, their stupid dog is barking its stupid face off. Pardonnez-moi ma langue, but shut the hell up.


Or I will call animal control some day. *tears hair out*

And this is the second time they've had a party. I don't care if you have a party. I DO care if I can hear it inside with all doors and windows closed. Can I call the police on you for grounds of disturbing the peace?

I'll get you my pretty--and your little dog, too.

\   /
  -

There's my new emoticon--the angry alien.

Or maybe this one. Whatever goes.

Sick of Twilight Already

According to me, if one can't be interesting enough to write a successful parody on something, it's stupid and one doesn't have to put up with it. Of course, I've never written a successful parody. In general, I do not write parodies. So, another pointless thing I've said.
Anyway.
Eyes Set to Kill.
Not that you knew, or cared to know, but I have decided I like them. *snods* 'Cos they're cool. Or they have good music. Whatever goes. I've only listened to Reach so far, but it's great. And then I was listening to Evanescence (because they both start with "e" they're right next to each other! Gosh, who's have guessed?!) and then my iPod ran out of charge so I went to charge it, and check computer-interwebs stuff and noticed my blog has OVER A THOUSAND PAGEVIEWS. And decided to write a post about it, but just saying is too short....and here I am.
Also, I did this play once, and there was this one really annoying girl, and, RAAARG, we actually had to share a dressing room, but the other people weren't quite so annoying, thank something, and this is really a run-on sentence. Whew. And anyhow, I was listening to Three Days Grace on my iPod and she's like oh I love Three Days Grace, and I'm like good for you I hate them forever (no I don't, please tour here soon, unlike Dave Grohl, who hates us, apparently. >_<) and then she started talking about Evanescence, except, you know how she pronounced it?
eh-VAN-essence. I don't know how to do the pronunciation marks. So sue me. And, if it were just the name, it would still be bad but not quite so bad, but it's a word, too. So, yeah, curse you for screwing up pronunciation. It's important.

Mwahaha. No one cares but if you're subscribed, or stalking me, or whatever, you'll have to know I wrote up these random, pointless posts. Haha.

Twilight: Chapter One (I'm skipping the Preface because it's not really a preface anyhow, I think)

Okay, I lied. It's not going to be a Serious Parody. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. Anyhow.

My mom drove me to the airport in Phoenix, and all the while I was thinking about how gorgeous and sunny--not that I can tan :` (  --and how awful and rainy it is in Forks, Washington where my dad lives and I hate it so much OMG it rains, and it's cloudy. Who'd a thought, ikr? And then my mom was like, "Oh, Bella, are you sure?" And I'm like, "Mom, I want to do this," but I was really thinking, "Nonononono noooooo! I hate Forks, don't make me do this!"

But whatever, too late.

So, there was the plane ride, which was fine, but I had to drive a whole hour with Charlie, he's my dad, and since I'm a totally insecure teenage girl I don't really talk much and he doesn't either, so it was super awkward. And he drove his cruiser, since he's police chief, and that's why I so need a car, even though I can't afford it, cuz I don't wanna drive around in a police car.

And, also, I barely had any luggage, cuz Phoenix is all warm and sunny so my clothes weren't suited for awful, rainy Washington. Have I mentioned that it's rainy? But then it turned out Charlie had already gotten me a car, so--

Meh. This is boring. I'll skip to her self-description. It's much whinier. But at least it doesn't mentioned the rain. Honestly, yeah, it's huge in life, but I don't need or want to hear it constantly in a book. Especially not when she's constantly complaining oh my god the rain the rain the rain!

My dad signed me up for the Forks High School, which because it's such a small town, it's the only one. I was not looking forward to be the only new student, which I knew I would be, because it's such a small town. And everyone would already know each other, because it's such a small town. It's a small town.

And, maybe it would be easier if I looked like a real Arizona girl, but no, I'm all pasty, but I'm not a redhead and I don't have black hair, so I look like some sort of albino. And no one likes me and I have bad balance and I can't play sports and I hate my life BAW.

And then I tried to cry myself to sleep but it didn't work because of the RAIN.

Ugh. I can't do anymore, this is awful. I have to have the book open beside me because it's so unmemorable that I can't do this without it. >_< Not the ideal way to spend a evening.

However, I do have an illustrated post about stink bugs Coming Soon, so don't despair. Not yet, anyway. If the apocalypse comes, then you can. I'll try to let you know.

Twilight: Chapter by Chapter

Okay, so, I read the Wikipedia article on Twilight, and even before that I may or may not have made disparaging comments, but honestly, where's the plot?! So now I've been condemned to read it. And I'm giving you guys some lovely, mocking chapter-by-chapter rewrites. Possibly shorter than the book. Hopefully. I know there are about a million different parodies of it out there already, but c'mon, I'm doing this one kitkat/Anonymous-style (which means I'm going to steal from her romance parody--kidding), also, I'm promoting her for fun, because, yeah, I felt like it. (also so that maybemaybemaybe she'll follow my blog, too) http://boringteenspeaks.blogspot.com/  <--kitkat/Anonymous's blog. Anyhow, back to Twilight. Um, yeah, it's not going to be "Oh, Edward I love you let me be a boring stereotypical housewife and cook for you," although I'd love to and will certainly do so in conversation. But this is a Serious Parody. Should that makes sense? Somehow I don't think it's quote paradoxical enough. A Serious Farce...but I don't think it's a farce. Oh well. I'll just shut up now. And a new post for Chapter One, because I feel like it.

Ooh, also, if you're a brony, did you know that Twilight was named Twilight Sparkle as a mockery of this Twilight? Possibly. I dunno. NOW I'll shut up.